Affection expressed towards one another

Some thoughts:

Like time spent together, affection between husband and wife is lovely when it is spontaneous. But with many couples this happens so seldom. Affection needs to be practiced or it becomes more and more unlikely and a certain coldness comes into the relationship.

    1. Affection in word is essential for the happiness of a marriage relationship. When a couple are dating they generally have no problem telling each other constantly of their love. It is then amazing how many married men especially would choke on the sentence ‘I love you’. They can be awkward about it, might not see any need for it, or simple refuse to speak it until she is on her deathbed! It is so vital that both husband and wife speak the word of love constantly.It needs to be spoken in order to be heard. One of the most difficult things for any person to believe about himself or herself is that s/he is loveable. By speaking the word of love constantly a wife or husband is anointing their spouse with this knowledge. Of course it can deteriorate into a mere ritual without any heart. Or it can be reduced to ‘love you’ where the I is missing. But this can easily be overcome by practicing putting heart into it.

      The word of love also needs to be spoken in order to be followed. We cannot tell someone ‘I love you’ constantly and then do nothing about it. The human word expresses reality. But it also creates reality so that in speaking love it is both revealed and created more strongly.

    2. Affection in action is also vitally important for happiness and growth in a marriage relationship. Again, when a couple are dating they have no trouble with touch and kiss and embrace. Their problem is often to keep their hands off each other! In marriage, couples very often lose the ability to show affection. The kiss or hug are reserved for particular occasions like birthdays or Christmas of anniversaries etc. Lovemaking is relegated to a low place in the priorities of one or both of the spouses. And a certain coldness grows in the relationship that is blamed on growing older. It is so important for a couple to regain the ability to touch, to hold, to caress, as the human touch is a very healing and affirming power, especially when exercised with love.


    1. What are some of your best memories of your courtship days?
    2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability to freely and frequently express your love in words? (1 is low; 10 is high) How can you increase this?
    3. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your wife/husband’s ability to freely and frequently express love in words? How could s/he increase this?
    4. In what ways could you bring more affection in action to your marriage relationship?
    5. In what ways would you like to see your wife/husband bring more affection in action to your marriage relationship?

    Answer these questions individually first (at least 10 mins) and then share your answers with one another (at least 30 mins)