Time to be together
The single most important contributor to happiness in marriage is time for one another. It is also the most difficult to accomplish. Everyone is so busy with so many other things and people that it looks almost impossible to get time for the couple themselves. And yet without making time the couple’s relationship cannot grow. Before marriage every couple made time for each other through dating. It is at least as important for a married couple to date one another. Some of the qualities of time for one another, if it is to be effective for the well-being of a relationship are:
- It needs to be regular. Spontaneous time for one another is always good but it either is so seldom that it won’t be of much use or it will be so unexpected that a couple won’t know what to do with it! Decisions need to be made about when a couple will meet regularly – each day/week/month and those dates are like appointments with anyone else, they will be honoured.
- It needs to be limited. One of the considerations that can put people off committing time to their relationship is that they imagine it will take up all their time. Agreeing the length of time their date will last and staying with that or renegotiating it when the time is up can alleviate this. This may seem artificial to some but it will be worth it in the long run.
- It needs to be creative. A dating couple doesn’t always do exactly the same thing on every date. There is a natural variety in what they do that keeps their relationship exciting and growing. The same needs to be true for the married couple that commits regular time to be together. They should use their imaginations to discover what will be best for them as they nurture their love for one another.
- It needs to be good time. Very often the time that married couples have for themselves is the time that is left over from everything else. Time when they are at their best is mostly given to work, children, friends, hobbies, etc. It is important to find some of this time for their relationship. This means time regularly when each one is good for the growth of the marriage.
- How much time do you spend together as a couple at present daily/weekly/monthly?
- What are some of the general patterns of this time together?
- How would you personally like to see you as a couple claim some of this time regularly to be more creative for your relationship?
- How regular would you personally like to see you as a couple spending time together in this way?
Answer these questions individually first (10 mins) and then share them with each other